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Some things.

I completed the last exam (Bioinformatics) of my undergraduate career last Thursday. I'm not sure how I feel about it; I hope I did alright, but even if I did, it doesn't really solve anything, i.e. I still need to find a new pad, cure solitude, etc. None of the fundamental conditions of my living have changed. Is this a sign of maturity?

I find for myself many reasons to be kind, from the standard "being mean in this world is like pissing into the ocean" motivation, to a rather masochistic impulse to find out exactly how much shit I can take without becoming harsh. However, I think the extent to which I've succeeded (however much that may be) has only been possible with the support of certain important people in my life, and with their imminent departure from this place, I wonder how well I'll be able to maintain my self-imposed standards in their absence; philosophy is philosophy, but tenacity is a separate matter. I'll try, of course. Trying has never been the issue.

On the other hand, certain other people in my life have made me realize that I should try harder to relate to people outside of my immediate sphere of comfort. We all gravitate toward people who are similar to us, I suppose, we all favor the company of those who make us feel at ease in our own skin; but, for me at least, these people are few and far in between, and if I shunned all the rest, I would have very few friends. (Which I do anyway.) Anyway, if every person is a parallel universe unto themselves and no two are likely to completely overlap--flashback to chain link fences on the Jersey shore five years ago--what makes a difference would not be anticipating something that may never occur, but finding what empathy one can where it can be found. If we never fail to find something to dislike even in our closest friends, shouldn't the inverse apply as well? (The only issue with that is that it's so hard to interact with anyone on more than a couple superficial levels; it's why I so dread forming relationships on the basis of only one or two superficial interests. I would talk to scientists about music, or music fans about science, or real-actual friends about neither of these things, etc. However, I can never shake the knowledge of how awkward that can often be.) Saw a sign on a church down St. Paul the other night: "Those we like the least need our love the most."

Met a girl named Melissa a while back because she commented on the Mogwai shirt I was wearing (it's always the Mogwai shirt, for some reason). Said she liked Pavement(!) and also Aphex Twin. I put her on the email list, and a week later Jess, Flannery and I brought her along for the Heartbeats Remixed CD release at the Metro Gallery. The night after that, when Whitney's ticket suddenly became available half an hour before departure, Maura, Diamond, Katie and I recruited her for the Radiohead concert at the Nissan Pavilion in Bristow, Virginia. The concert, my second time seeing Radiohead, almost two years after the first, was an awe-inspiring experience; the transit, however, was a complete clusterfuck (see this Washington Post article), and we spent a total of 8 hours traveling (driving, trudging through water and mud, freezing, getting drenched) to see 2 hours of music (just freezing and getting drenched). I spent most of the driving time studying for my cell biology exam at 10AM the following morning; the concert ended at midnight, and I got home at 3:30AM, 75 miles away. Don't think I did too hot on the exam either. Anyway, the point is, the EA kids are now obsessed with checking Melissa's last.fm to see what she'll listen to next (Diamond: "It's better than TV!"). Maura's already got both Diamond and me chalked up as casualties. I wouldn't speak so soon; it takes more than a good music collection to do me in. It does help, though.