Jet Black

Lasts of 2007:

Last t-shirt worn: Sonic Youth shirt with Expressway to Yr Skull lyrics
Last drink: German "Oktoberfest" brew
Last book read(ing): Mircea Eliade, The Myth of the Eternal Return
Last record listened to: some fucking impromptu mix John made
Last CD purchased: Low remix album
Last film watched: The Matador, starring Pierce Brosnan
Last decent photograph taken:


First decent photograph taken in 2008:

First record listened to in 2008: Slowdive - Souvlaki
First TV program watched in 2008: Radiohead's Scotch Mist webcast

I'm at John's house in Pittsburgh. It's always interesting when 50-something parents ask their 20-something children for joints. Affluent white suburbia is something I will never get used to; it seems David Lynch and Ang Lee may have been right about some of their "dark undercurrents" ideas. I destroyed the toilet in John's basement by first breaking the lever when I opened up the water tank to flush the malfunctioning toilet and then shattering the ceramic tank lid when I knocked it to the ground after lifting it.

I called many people this New Year's Eve: Jess, Thom, Sarah K. (why did I do that?), Andrew, Caroline, et al. Cheri texted me, which came as a surprise. My high school roommate Mike called three times tonight to tell me he missed me and the last year of high school, when we roomed and had a band together, was the best year of high school for him; I almost cried, and probably would have, if I could still cry. I thought we left Lawrenceville with him hating my guts, but I suppose you never know with these things. Maybe I will miss this, too, in four years' time.

2007 was okay. It was better than 2006, which was one of the most miserable years I've had the misfortune of enduring in my time. I accomplished a few things I didn't really expect to accomplish, especially as far as academics go. But 2008 shall be better, and I won't heed any pessimistic opinions otherwise (particularly that of Maura, who still thinks her life peaked with the 310 E. University scene in 2006). I want to be kinder to everyone. I want to be capable of a kindness great enough to put myself at risk, and I want that to matter.

People are watching The Science of Sleep downstairs. It's one of my favorite movies and I've been meaning to see it again for a long while, but the general plot of two people who are so perfect for each other it's almost cruel when they don't end up together is a little too relevant for comfort this close to 2007. At least for me.

This time next year I'll be in a different city. I'll be dreaming different dreams. I'll be chasing different loves. I'm a nostalgic, but I treasure the tears that come with nostalgia, instead of attempting to avoid them. But for now...

Maybe this year is the year. Maybe it's not. Either way, I will try my best to enforce gentleness and beauty. I need to stop being so tired all the time.

Kiss hard on the lips and say that this year will be better than the last.